I FORGOT HOW TO MAKE REALLY BIG LETTERS........SO BUMP!!!!!!!! *wanna be big letters*

BUMP!!!!!!!!! THIS STORY IS GREAT :D:D PLZ MORE :P MORE :D:D

Bump, I'm starting to get depressed, IB please come back to us, PLEASE

MEEE needs MOOOREEE!!!!!!!!!

if your
gonnawrite more
plzzzzzzzz tell us!










still waiting
:whistling: :thinking:

...............................BUMP

Come back James....We need you, The Wolf Pack needs you, The Sow Woman needs you, The Gryphon needs you, The Queen needs you......Come back, James, Pleaseeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

This post has been edited by Oldsaltblock on Mar 20 2008, 08:06 PM

RTTM BUMP ( Rad To The Max)

Bumpity ~ Bump

write more plz.....u have talent so plzzzzzzzzzz!!!


:crying:

BUMP

Bump from wherever this has gotten....not sure. Where oh where is James?

This post has been edited by Oldsaltblock on Dec 22 2008, 08:22 AM

Well its been a long time but now I've managed to get things in order and don't have to look over my shoulder all the time for pesky torch and pitchfork wielding villagers so i can finally get back to telling the story of James the Berzerker....

When last we left him he had just grabbed Loak, leader of the wolf pack with the intent of finding out what had happed to his friend the Gryphon...


“He was with us! he was supposed to be following us by flying overhead!” Protested Loak.
“With you?” asked James evenly. “I seem to recall the last time I ran into your crew you tried to murder us in an ambush... why would he be with you?”
“We met him upon his quest to find you the night before, we explained that we had made a mistake in attacking thee and had come to see that honor was served! Then did we convince him of our intent and vowed then and there to aid him in his search for you and thus we were both looking for you together, though we had little luck finding thee thanks to yon witch's spells! And so this morning when we began to search for you again the Gryphon did vow to follow us by air at a great hight in hopes to see what we could not by the light of day. In sooth I did not keep watch upon him as he flew... I cannot say why he is not here with us, but he has been gone but a day and a night! It is the truth! I vow it upon the Great Mother!”
Loak found himself face down in the grass as James leaped over him.
“Baloria. I'm going to need your help, you and your new girlfriend can finish figuring out who is going to be on top later.” he said as he rushed back to the house.
Baloria froze, suddenly realizing just what this must look like to the rest of her visitors, all of who were watching in stark fascination as she held the young now mostly naked she-wolf upside down pressed against her front in a bear hug, her legs kicking helplessly, her head pinned between the massive sows thighs as the young wolf gripped her large rear in an attempt to find enough leverage to squirm free. “Twas a brawl not a seduction thou pervert!” she muttered, tossing the she-wolf with a splash into the warm water.
James emerged from the cottage dressed in his harness. “Why not?” He asked innocently. “You two make a cute couple.”
The sow looked away, red faced in embarrassment as she climbed out of the tub, grumbling to herself about how she couldn't even take a bath without being molested by wolves.
“Dammit, I broke my sword...” James said, examining the hilt, which was all that was left of his greatsword...
“Why then this rush James?” Baloria asked as she toweled off in a hurry.
“Griff would have searched for me until found me, that I'm sure of. The only way he never arrived here was because he ran into trouble in the air on the way somehow. If he could have gotten here then he would have. The only reasonable explanation is that he had an accident and is lying out there hurt, or somebody stopped him from getting here somehow, and I intend to ether help him if its the first, or avenge him if its the second...” He said.
“But thou are wounded most sorely!' complained Belora as she chased the human into her house as he gathered up his things.
“No time to lie about.” James said with a smile, stepping close to her he slid his hand down her rear and tucked his two middle fingers into her vagina making her stiffen with a gasp, gripping his fingers with sudden need. He pulled them out and stuck them into his mouth and sucking on them with a smile of satisfaction. “For luck.” he explained and went back to sucking on them as he strode towards the door. “So you were all hot and bothered by that she wolf.” he said as he stepped out into the light.
“I was not thou caddish mongrel cur of a man!” she squealed as she grabbed up her broom and bag to give chase.
James walked out into the clearing, intent on his task. “Loak! I need your inbound path, and I need a predicted trajectory that Griff might have taken.”
“I shall aid you until the last, Lord James, but pray thee, I know not of what you speak. What is a trajectory? Some arcane device that the gryphon did carry?”
James sighed and rubbed his face. “Which way did you come? And which way did you think Griff was coming from?”
“Oh certies!” replied the wolf. “Why didst thou not say so before?”
James just stuck his hands in the wolf's mane and gave him a friendly scritch. “Just be a good boy and show me the trail, eh?”
Loak shrugged and turned to the woods, rallying his pack with a yip. This human was an odd one for sure and he still wasn't sure he could trust him. Though his clawless fingers did feel rather good...

They followed there own trail back, trying to find the place where Griff could have gotten lost, or worse...
Loak returned from his sortie out off the path, looking for signs of a gryphon crashing into the wood somewhere. “I have seen little so far, James. Nor hast my pack perchanced upon any sign nor scent. Tis a mystery in sooth where he hath gone.”
James said nothing, his hands busy assembling his bow. With a grunt he strung it and grabbed a handful of arrows.
“What manner of bow is that? I have not seen its like before.” asked Loak. His archers eye catching the unique double curve of the bow like a miser catching a glimpse of a gold coin.
“It's a Laminated recurve, a composite bow.” James said, eyes scanning the trees. “Call everybody back. We're about to have company.”
Loak looked around wildly. “But I neither smelled nor saw aught!”
“Thats because there in the trees, above us.” said James evenly.
Loak gave a short bark and the wolves came pelting back to him. “Ware high!” he growled, putting an arrow to string. The other wolves ringed around him, there eyes and ears pointed up into the trees, paws taunt on the strings and hafts of there bows.
“Ok people...” said James quietly. “Everybody follow my lead, if I shoot, you shoot. We don't need to start a fight when we have no clue as to what we're getting into, understand?”
“Aye.” growled Loak.
They all could hear it now, furtive flutterings, the scratch of claws on bark...
“We are surrounded.” Loak whispered.
“Yeah, I know.” said James. “But by what?”
Suddenly heads popped out of the foliage to gaze down at them over long black beaks, black feathers and dark shadowed eyes.
“Ravens.” Growled Jaken at James's side.
“Aye.” said Loak. “Certies we are in peril now.”
“Really?” asked James. “I don't get it. Ravens in my world are friendly playful birds, sure there grim looking and there always looking for a snack but I think there beautiful personally, I've always had a love of ravens. There incredibly clever and always think of there families first. I've always thought that my own kind could learn a lot from them.”
The ravens just stared down at him for a long while from there well concealed hiding spots before one spoke up. “Dost thou really?” said the raven wryly with a tilt of the beak, eyes considering and wise.
“Yes.” said James. “Really.” James slung his bow and poked his arrows into the ground so that they jutted up to the side of him and sat down right where he was. “So why don't you come down here and talk to me.” said James, offering the patch of ground in front of him with a gesture. “I'm looking for a friend of mine that got lost around here. Perhaps you know a bit about that...”
“Do I now?” spoke the raven. “And what madness is this? Why should I come down there were you are when I am safe and sound up here?”
“Because you're flock has us surrounded, outnumbered and probably hopelessly outmatched, and while you could probably take us, I assure you that we would probably wind up filling these woods here with dead ravens before that happened, which frankly I would really not want to have happen. Like I said, I like ravens.” Said James with a shrug.
“We have many ravens...” said the raven evenly.
“Aye, and we many arrows.” Said Loak with a snarl.

At that moment Belora, the witch of the greenmoor found her way into the gathering. “There you be!” she grumped. “Thou all ran off at the bark of Loak and left me abandoned! Tis not the way to treat a lady.”
“Hey Bel!” Said James with a smile. “Come on over here, I need some more luck!” He said, wiggling his fingers.
“Thou roguish lustful lump of a male...” she said with a roll of the eye. “Must all you think about is my sowhood?”
“My Lady of the Greenmoor!” cawed the raven.
Belora looked up to see the raven hidden in the branches. “Ah, I see. Tis you, Stormwing that are responsible for me traipsing through the forest after these scampering wolves.”
“My lady! I? Responsible?” yelped the raven. “How say you this? These beings did trespass upon our woods and we have met them as we have always done err they do harm! That be all of it certies!”
Without warning there was a sudden silence, as if all sound were consumed into the void and all watched as Belora the witch lifted her head, her eyes clouding with broiling storms until they shone like orbs of polished silver... a mist rose from the ground to surround her body, lifting her long straight mane to float around her, a soft glow broke from within and shone right through her as if at that moment she had become a gateway to forces far greater than any in the world of the known. And then she spoke, with the voice of the heavens she spoke, and it crashed against them like a wave..
“The cause is simple oh feathery one!” She thundered with the force of a raging river. “Twas you that did accost and bear away the gryphon, sworn and dutiful vassal of this one.” she said, turning to point at James. “None other than James the Berserker! Fated Righter of the Balance, Chosen Champion of the Green Mother, and Bearer of the gates of Hell!” She lifted her arm to point at the sky as distant thunder roiled and the sky flashed.
James just stared at her for a moment with an annoyed look on her face and then spoke up. “Oh come on!” Objected James. “Where the hell did that come from?” Said James, getting to his feet and spreading his hands in askance of just what in the hell was going on here. “You make it sound like I'm some sort of ass biting demon or something! Ok, so I'm a genetic throwback, but that doesn't mean I'm some champion and I certainly don't have the gates of hell on me!” he said, indicating his lack of pants. “No pockets, see? What are you up to, Belora?
She turned to face him and he gazed into those eyes of molten swirling silver...
“You... aren't Belora... are you?” James asked quietly.
“No...” she answered in the voice of wind and thunder. “I am not.”
“What the hell have you done with her!” James growled, his hands tightening into fists.
She smiled at him, a beautiful smile that glowed with a life all its own. “You truly would give battle to me to save her, a woman you have known for but a day. Even though you have no idea how you could succeed you would still do so without a moments hesitation. You are brave indeed.”
“I am stupid you mean.” said James with a snarl.
The being within Belora smiled gently and stepped out of the body of the witch, forming into a being of shimmering light and substance that defied the eye to see it clearly, leaving only the impression of swirling galaxy that took feminine form. In an instant the divine being was before James, her soft hands glittering with stars like the gemstones of a queen reaching up to take his face in there embrace. “Stupid or no, you are the Champion my dear James. But take heart, though the path ahead may be long and dreary with much danger... Know that my love goes with you.”
“Who are you?” James asked simply. His mind so befuddled by what he was seeing he could barely think clearly.
“You have always known me, my child.” the shimmering being replied. “I have always been there for you.”
“But...” Stammered James. “I'm a freak! A pervert! A reject! I have done terrible things...”
The divine being touched his lips with the tip of her finger, silencing him. “You are none of these my James. You are what you are, and regardless of your faults you strive to do good... and what more could a mother ask?” She pulled back then and turned away but then paused and looked over her shoulder and winked. “And no, lust shared between two beings who share it is not a sin, my child. Remember that. After all, I gave you you're lust along with all your other gifts, did I not?”
The gleaming starry figure rose into the sky and was gone, only her voice remained echoing through the forest. “Now go, my Champion. Unite the unwanted tribes and lead them to there destiny. Save the Queen and in doing so, save this world... and your own.”
James leaped forward and caught Belora as she collapsed, easing her to the mossy ground. His mind a whirl with the reality of this unbelievable visitation. He had just been talked to by a Goddess!
“Loak! We got any water?” he asked over his shoulder.
“James...” replied the wolf.
“Loak, I need some water here! Belora's collapsed!
“JAMES!” Loak barked.
“What the hell is it?!” snapped James, turning from Belora to glare at Loak...
And there, standing in a stone buried in the earth of the clearing was a sword. A sword unlike any that had been seen in this land, with a great cross hilt and another smaller one half a foot up from the first. A thick woven guard of steel that swirled around its hilt like a snake frozen in time. A full six feet long, The blade itself was formed like a slithering serpent with great curves shaped of glistening blue steel.
Around it was arrayed the wolves, half crouched in uncertainty, the ravens had come down and were perched around the clearing that had appeared out of nowhere, all eyes were upon the sword as if it were a terrible foe that must be watched ever second lest it bite...
James lay Belora down on the soft moss and rose to his feet. He shook his head, it was all so classic. Like the world was poking him with a giant finger saying “Take it stupid!” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Then he went ahead and took the bate. He walked slowly up to the edge of the clearing and gazed at the massive sword before him.
“What manner of terrible blade forged in the dark is this?” Asked Loak. “It is likening unto a frozen flame, see how it curves upon itself like a serpent slithering upon the ground...”
“It's a Flamberge.” James replied. “Big heavy sword used to smash pike formations...”
Loak glanced at him wide eyed. “Tis a gift from the Goddess, sooth a magical blade to replace your own shattered one!”
“So, im supposed to just walk up there and pull the sword from that stone. Eh?” James asked.
“Certies! Who else among us should it be for save you? You are the one to wield that great slab of a sword!” whispered Loak.
James stepped up to the sword, stopping a yard away from it. “The sword in the stone... how familiar all this is...”
He heard what sounded like a quiet laugh somewhere and looked around for a moment before turning back to the blade.
“It's a bit overdone if you ask me.” James said out of the corner of his mouth. “I always felt these things were way to heavy to be really useful in a fight.” Slowly he gripped the long fat hilt of the sword. He took a deep breath, preparing for about eighteen pounds of steel stuck in a great slab of granite... and heaved.
The blade popped free and flung upwards, far lighter than he had anticipated and James slid his left foot back to catch himself. Everyone froze. James standing there, huge gleaming sword raised high into the light of the day that shined down upon him from a hole in the forest green above, the wolves half crouched around him, gazing up at the blade, the ravens bent forward, there wings half unfurled in settlement as they too stared upward at the blade, its gleaming light shining in there eyes.
James felt right then and there that this moment, this scene would be remembered and retold again and again... though where it went from here was anyones guess.
He lowered the blade and the moment was gone...
“What then does this portend?” Asked Loak in a near whisper.
“It portends that fate, destiny, whatever... has stuck its hand up our asses and has made us all into sock puppets...” Replied James with a shrug.
He turned back and went to Belora's side. Laying the sword on the mossy forest floor beside her and taking her hoof like hand in his own.
Her eyes opened and she looked up at him just like that. “I feel rather odd.” she said softly.
James smiled. “A big scary being made all of stars and galaxies and stuff possessed you for the bit there I think.. but I don't think She meant you any harm.”
“The Lady of Night came unto me?” Belora said with a gasp, gripping his arm in her shock.
“You don't remember anything about it do you?” James said.
“What portents did she bring you James? Certies she did not visit for naught!” she asked excitedly.
“Well its rather... oh screw it... Ask somebody else. I'm too damn embarrassed to talk about it... its just ridiculous, the whole damn thing!” James lifted the sow, holding her in his arms and giving her a warm hug. “I'm just glad you're ok, Belora. I was worried there for a bit.”
She laughed and hugged him to her many breasts. “I am whole and hearty dear James. Take heart.”
“In that case...” said James, and proceeded to lick and nibble on her left breast making her laugh and push him away.
“Pray tell was that for luck as well?” she asked him with a sultry eye.
“Always.” said James with a smile.
He hear Loak clear his throat and looked up to see the wolf standing nearby taking in the sight of his playful seduction without a bit of embarrassment or shame in his eyes. A feature James was really coming to appreciate from the people that lived in this strange land. “What's up Loak?” James asked as he continued to fondle the delightful body of the witch who giggled and playfully fought him off without actually moving out of reach in the slightest.
“The leader of the ravens wishes to speak with you My lord.” said Loak.
James sighed. “Looks like ill have to stay hot and bothered for a while...” he said, pulling Belora close and kissing her on the lips. He stood up, picking up the giant flamberge and hefting it to his shoulder he walked past loak and slapped him on the rear. “Take over.” he said.
“Take over? My lord?” asked Loak, confused.
James turned back and smiled and Belora. “What do you think?” he said, putting his arm over Loaks shoulders. “Sexy beautiful male alfa wolf who just happens to be as sweet and snuggly as you can get.” Said James, planting a big kiss on the side of the wolf's face. “Think he could be a fun playmate?”
Belora smiled and laughed. “Thou are such a beast James!”Belora said, pointing a finger accusingly. “The only reason thou even offer him is because thou wishes to bed him thyself!”
James smiled and stuck the sword point first in the ground as he fondled the wolf's rear with the other hand, making him stiffen and look over at James, which made it easy for him to plant a kiss right on his lips as his other hand slid down the wolves furry front to gently cup the wolf's sheath, fingers softly stroking over his fluffy balls. The wolf gave a small whimper, unconsciously lifting his arms to hold James against him. The wolf's penis made an appearance in record time as James pressed his belly groin softly against it, moving up and down, his naked skin caressing the wolves furry sex and ever growing shaft. James took him in both arms, pulling the wolf against him and burying his face in Loak's mane, kissing the side of his neck as he stroked his entire body against the wolf's own. Leaving Loak breathless and trembling in sudden need. Slowly James lifted his head and gazed into Loak's eyes. “Damn straight!” said James, and with a smile gave the wolf a shove in the direction of the witches embrace. “Play nice now.
James plucked the way too light massive flamberge from the ground and lifted it to his shoulder and sauntered over to the Raven who stood waiting for him with all the air of nobility and grim seriousness he expected from a raven. James smiled and shrugged, he had a boner and not pants, but here he thought nobody would mind. It was all Loak's fault for being so sexy.
“Thus have we seen the seed of great things fall and lay there claws upon us all.” spoke the raven solemly, ignoring the humans pointing member after just a glance at it out of curiosity perhaps.
James smiled, laying down the massive sword across his shoulder and resting it on its tip. “I love the way you speak!” exclaimed James. “It's so Gothic Edgar Allen Poe!” The raven was huge compared to the ones back home, he had to be a few inches over three feet tall with a huge head set with clear intelligent eyes and long heavy beak, magnificent big claws and a huge beautiful tail.
The raven gave a courtly bow, flicking out a wing like a sable cloak. “I bid you greetings, James the Berserker. I shall guide you to thine vassal, he is... perhaps unharmed.”
“Perhaps?” asked James with a narrowing of the eyes.
“Thy vassal... Is rather... odd. My lord.” spoke the raven, looking away to avoid his gaze.
“He got all exited when you tired him up, didn't he?” said James with a broad knowing smile.
“Certies that he did... once it became clear that we were not going to kill him but keep him as a servant for a season or two. He began teasing us... flaunting himself like unto a harlot..” said the raven in embarrassment.
“So I take it some of your ravens decided to play with him a bit?” Said James.
The raven sighed, lowering his beak and pecking at some invisible speck on the ground. “Many many of my ravens in sooth. Thus I must admit that we didst use him like a whore...”
James shook his head and laughed out loud. “And you only had him for one day? Man, I love you people! You are all so damn horny. Its a wonder you have time to do anything else other than hump each other senseless!” He looked down at the sword on his shoulder. “Well, its time to go break up the orgy I guess. And somebody tell me that they know how to fix me up a scabbard for this monster sword of mine or I'm likely to cut my own head off with it!”
Over his shoulder he heard a startled bark and a deep feminine porcine grunt of enjoyment.
He smiled at the raven. “We'll wait a bit I think.”

Fenta was working with Jaken to make some sort of scabbard for the flamberge out of some spare rope and bark they had managed to dig up for James while he was sitting on a stone having a conversation with Stormwing, the leader of the raven flock.
“So you guys have no real weapons you use when you get into a fight?” James was asking.
“Tis our misfortune.” replied Stormwing. “Our talons while strong are not suited to anything but light spears, but we must drop them err we land. Our beaks while strong have not the edge nor bite of steel... We defend ourselves by sheer strength of our numbers and aught more can be done...”
James thought about it for a moment and then reached back to the side of his pack and pulled out a big nasty four pointed four inch across shuriken and held it up before the raven.
“A star of steel? What manner of thing be this? Tis too short to be used for cutting nor the thrust.” said the raven as he tilted his head this way and that to examine the strange weapon.
James flicked his wrist and it flew from his hand to stick in the side of a dead oak tree with a loud thunk, causing Jaken to duck with a yipe. “Sorry Jaken!” said James with a wave. “Just practicing.” he pulled another from his pouch and held it out to the raven. “Now you try.”
The raven carefully examined it, realizing that it was only bladed on the outer edges he took it by the center the same way one would grab it between two fingers. The raven set himself and leaned left and then leaned right hard, spinning on a single foot and flinging his beak in an arc, letting the shuriken fly beautifully... right into the bushes. Causing Jaken to evacuate the area for good with a parting growl.
“Methinks this will take a moment to master...” spoke the raven with a shrug of his wings.
They gave it another try and another with a few breaks for James and Stormwing to go looking for lost shuriken but soon enough the raven was throwing the shuriken with passable accuracy, but he just couldn't get the force that James seemed to be able to get in his throws with such ease.
“Methinks your kind are well suited to this form of combat by your very nature, My lord.” said Stormwing.
James shrugged. “You can all stop calling me lord any time you want. It's just James.” he said as he threw again, hitting the tree with enough force to half bury the shuriken and knock off some of the rotting bark. “I always thought that as a human our ability to throw things was rather incredible. It seems that was our single powerful evolutionary trait that gave us an edge on the rest of the animals on my world.” he looked the raven up and down. “But your's is flight. Why don't you take one and dive at the tree and throw it at your best speed at the same time?”
The raven took one from his hand and leaped into the air, rising up to spiral into the sky and then winged over to begin his dive. James just watched amazed as the raven came in like a black bolt, the sound of his dive filling the air like a fighter plain coming in for a dive bomb attack. He must have been going faster than a hundred plus easy... thought James.
With a flash the raven rolled up on his side and with a twist of his head flung the shuriken at the last millisecond before arcing away and looping back to land exactly where he had taken off from.
“How went it?” the raven asked. “I could but cast and then evade lest I crash headlong into yon tree.”
“See for yourself.” said James with a smile, hooking his thumb at the tree. They both walked up to it and the raven gave a pleased cackle. The shuriken was buried so deep in the tree that only a bit of the rear point was showing. It had sunk three and a half inches into solid oak.
“How would you know that flight would aid my throw?” asked the raven.
“If you have something already moving fast and throw something from it hard enough, the speeds of both objects are combined since when you released it it was already going as fast as you were so it could only get faster, and since the shuriken has little in the way of air resistance and doesn't weigh that much it could be accelerated very easily.” he reached down and picked up the raven, giving him a hug and a kiss on the head. “Congratulations! I think we just found a way for your people to defend themselves if they get into trouble!
The raven squawked and kicked his feat but took the humans enthusiasm with good grace, even preening a few of the stray hairs on his head back into place politely. When James put him down he turned and bowed deeply. “I believe you have done my people a great service, My Lord. Though yon weapon tis not so very deadly, tis more than enough to dissuade those who might mean us harm. Once we have gained a great many of these flying stars we shall attend thee in thine quest, whatever it might be.”
James waved his hands in front of him. “Oh no, you dont have to do that! I was just helping out here, there was nothing to it at all!”
The raven lifted his head and stared at James as only a raven might, tucking his wings in and rising to his full hight. “Upon this day, this day upon this place did I see non other but the Divine Mother come among us and name James the Berserker her champion, and lo, upon the greensward did there lay a blade the likes of which none had seen before but only thou knew the name of! And all witnessed the silent moment when the very forest and all within it bade in silent homage to thee when thou didst draw that blade of flame!” quoth the raven, his eyes alight with the very wonder of it.
James sighed and let his shoulders slump dejectedly. “And here I was thinking I was the only one to notice that “Everything stood still” thing when I drew it...”
“Naught escapes the eye of a raven, human. We watch and we bide our time...” said Stormwing grimly. “Tis my belief that your course shall take you into the very heart of a battle wherein lies the very fate of our world! Just as the Divine mother said, We, the ravens are the unwanted tribe, and We shall join you in your quest Lord James, though there be death upon the very length and breadth of it's every league!"

Well that's all i have at the moment, i know its short but life has been a bit hellish as of late, none the less i have found my way back and can get to work writing the rest of this story of mine.
Stay tuned for the next installment fellow monsters!
Of James the Berzerker! The man that will hump anything, and i mean anything! When he's not being an hero and stuff...
Next episode.
"You're going to hump that?!?"

Thank you muchly for your story so far. (hint hint)
Love the pig witch.
Please do continue. :D