funcomer made some good points about us not knowing more about your relationship.... and offtopic had some good points about love vs lust.

I would like to add that although he may not like the idea, I would hope he could be accepting of it. It is hard to compare zoophilia against other things like scat, bdsm, etc, so I can't really say I would be accepting of anything my partner would be interested in, but I would expect them to be able to explain to me why they are interested and be able to defend themselves on why they think it is an acceptable behaviour AND be able to take criticism against what they believe.

So, if you decide to bring up your interests you had best be prepared to "defend" your position or I doubt this will end well.... He would think things like, Why are you interested? But you are harming/raping/abusing the animal! You are cheating on me. And various other questions/accusations that are bound to come up.

Another thing, is I think many people are more attracted to animals for lust then they would like to admit. If you have a good relationship going on right now (which I am not sure on since you have been together 10 years and no marriage... and did this animal interest spawn because of something lacking in the relationship?) I wouldn't lose it because of a fantasy that is considered by most as extreme. All that said though, I personally doubt I could ever get that far into a relationship without saying my interests... like silvercircles said, I wouldn't want to have to lie/tell secrets throughout the relationship either.

Anyways, im just blabbing now... just make sure you aren't going to do this for all the wrong reasons.

This post has been edited by Gryph on Jul 7 2006, 05:23 AM

What a conundrum. It's a case of damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Perhaps it is less a discust of sex with animals, than with a fear of finding out that you might prefer the animal to him if you try it. It could just be his way of dealing with his fear of having to share you. Maybe his fear of having you be in the position of being able to campare lovers. It's a thought, and a tough row to hoe for the both of you. I wish I was wiser, and had better advice. Good luck.

Pet

Good luck on your fantasy.....and if you can't change their way of thinking....change for a thinker for your way of living.. ;) Nice thread to open up needed discussion...thanks.

I dont think you have read this post that southie made.. ===> Taboo Subjects <===, ALL READ - HERE'S WHAT'S NOT ALLOWED your insinuation that I dont take care of my animals because I consider myself into bestiality is offensive to me!

raver.. I suggest you read the rules and the stickies in the stickie section before you procede in posting anymore.. I personally will not let you continue to label me(and others like me) like you have..

scratchme I am sorry but I couldnt let this go without saying something!! I am so sick of people labeling me(and others) based on their misconceptions!!

:( I did not mean to offend anyone. Nor am I implying that beasts are incapable of or do not care for animals. I was simply trying to highlight the magor differnaces between the two [SPAM] to a woman caught in a very uncomftable place. Zoo- more about the emotional boding, beast more about the sex. Obviously ther eis a great deal of overlap betwen the two [SPAM]. Given the unigue circumstances of her story I simply tried to show the two views via thier extremes so that she might make the decsion that is best for her in her life.

My apologies and I shall not do it again

There's no need to be so defensive, I think raver's observed a fundamental difference in two different types of people into animals, not that "all people that like animals base it on a shallow and superficial attraction". He wasn't implying that all zoos are just in it for the cock etc, not labelling at all, but that some people feel themselves attracted to it but not genuinely so - in theory, not in practice.

There's a good spread of opinion and advice here scatchme, plenty to make a start on.

Personally, I would be inclined to keep my man in this situation first and foremost. This is just a personal expression of preference: I know next to nothing about either of you please bear in mind.

Where partners collide over sexual matters alone there is almost always a route through back to happiness for the both of you. I shall assume that you are both quite satisfied in more general areas of the relationship, albeit perhaps a little strained now and again as any couple can reasonably encounter.

Broaching the subject of a sexual adventure that your partner is wary of is made a whole lot less confrontational if you consider their possible interpretations of the line of questioning you are posing them.

If I were to say: "Hey sweetie, I'd really like to know what it feels like to have the knot inside of me..." for example, there are many different emotions that could stir in the man I have just confided in, especially if he and I have been partners for any length of time.

Worst-case interpretations of the example comment are that my man thinks: "That must mean I don't satisfy her enough..." or "I'm too small to give her sexual pleasure..." or the like. Please note that you are effectively introducing another sexual partner in between you both when you discuss things like this, and that is a huge step out of the ordinary for very many people indeed.

Just being aware that your very broaching of such a subject may be misinterpretted in all sorts of personalised ways will help you navigate through the ensuing conversation.

In the early days, just having your partner acknowledge that this is a subject you want to discuss further is probably the best thing to aim for... too much beyond that and you'll end up back at square one.

So start by discussing what arouses you about the subject; talk in general terms about fantasies and ideas that you both enjoy. Don't leap straight in with a zoo-related theme, include it with other areas you enjoy. Keep it abstract and in the realms of make-believe to begin with at least. This way you can talk about what you like about the idea without your partner necesarily feeling like he's going to come home to a set of kennels or a new stable in the yard...

Focus on what the idea means to you in addition to your other desires... this is important as it shows your partner that their place in your affections will not diminish should you ever start exploring this area in the future.

This isn't easy scratchme, just ask any of the members here with partners who get huffy over abstract fantasies such as pornography, but it doesn't have to be horrid either. If you express yourself honestly as to what you want, how you intend to go about it, and what impact that might have on your partner, especially taking into account their understandable knee-jerk feelings of betrayal or surprise or fear, then subjects of this nature need be no more harrowing than admitting that you don't like their mother's meddling, for example... Sure, it is personal and difficult in the first instance to accept, but it doesn't have to mean the end of the realtionship, let alone the end of the world.

Good luck sweetie :clover:

I am prity new to the animal sex thing myself but all I can say is I love my dog and any other dog that fancies me. I carnt begin to explain how good it is. I would love to try a horse next but i am a little scared and need advise.
If you have an open mind and want great sex. Try it. You wont be sorry. Contact me if you like and I will tell you what I can.

Well, this isa tough one. First of all I would like to say a relation is a commitment between two people (obviously) so if you want to bring another lover in the equasion it should be with consent of both partners, think what you would say if he brought an other girlfriend home.
Second, try to find out if this zoothing is something you want to try just once or you think this could be someting you want to do on a regular base. If you just want to try it once maybe you can organise something without him knowing. Devious I know but to give up a good relationship on just an adventure seems such a waste. If you can live with a one-time deceit or not is something for you to decide.
Third (this was already mentioned in the other posts) you have to decide for yourself if you want to supress this desire for the sake of your relation (and what is he giving up for you, if anything) or is this desire too big a thing to have never tried in your life

well, just my thoughts on this, after all, have you considered giving him a dog, maybe he is the dog-owner of your fantasies...

I have to agree with the bunch of you that is telling her to go ahead with trying it out...I realize you've been in this relationship for a very long time...but I face something similar to it many years ago...when I discovered I was a dom. I was married...tried in interest my spouse in it...she called me a sick, twisted, deviate...and took off with the guy she'd been secretly having an affair with since before we were married. So...I was true to my own interests...and haven't regretted it since. The ex has been trying to get back with me for a decade...promising me anything...last time I told her I would consider it, if she did a male german shepherd...haven't heard from her since...lol

Scratch...do what you have to do to be happy...you've given the bf the chance to be involved in this with you, if he passes...you have no reason to feel guilty.

Temp

If you want to spend the rest of your life with him, then this may just have to be a fantasy and nothing more. I wouldn't advise throwing away a lifetime of happiness for a fantasy. If you commit to him but it doesn't work out, then your free to persuit it openly.

I've had sex with two male dogs. My current lover is a dalmatian with whom I enjoy a fullfilling and exciting sexual relationship. Fortunately my hubby doesn't consider a dog to be a threat to his relationship with me. However if he came to me and said he wanted me to stop, I would. It certainly wouldn't be easy for me, and I wouldn't be happy about it. However my hubby's love and support is far more important and valuable than having sex with a dog.

I hope everything works out OK for you.

:o :huh: Boy Silky. You could stop, just like that. I would not be able to do that..


She did say that she has been dating for 10 years, never said it was to the same guy or not.... :unsure: :huh: :thinking:



Scratchme, as other has said. If this is something you want to do, and he isn't up to it. Then you either get rid of him, or you get rid of the dog idea. But alot of people will admit, that sex with dogs is great. :twisted: :wub: :P They don't ever complain. :lol: My ex didn't like it either. She knew what I did, and she knew I still did it after we were married. She almost caught me 3 times, never seen me doing the dog, but she kinda figured that we have just done it. So the Big "D" came into play. So now it's me and the dogs. Life it so much better now.. :clapping: :lol:

She most not be having to much of a problem with this. Since it has been so long since she posted this, and haven't replied back yet. Hope she is still OK.. :unsure:

If you really love someone you except them for who they are, warts n all ;)

No, not just like that. I said it would be difficult, but not impossible. :D

I agree with what some have said, keep the boy friend, walk away from the fantasy. Best of luck with what ever you choose.