I've been seeing this married girl for about 5 months now, she's wonderfull. I don't like the fact that she is married. She tell's me she doesn't either, big long story, drugs, alcohol, abuse, 2 kids, we met in rehab, it goes on. We are both really happy when we are together, neither of us want to use when we are together. apart is a different story. We make each other happy, wont put up with the other using. I have insane sadness when she has to go home to her huaband. I know it sounds bad but she's stuck for 4 more years till her kids leave. She has 3 german sheperds, butifull dogs. I got really close to them until the husband started catching on to his wifes emotions for me. One of them is a show dog, going on tour this summer, I don't really know what that means. But I really want to be with a male dog, I was piss drunk and asked her about her "experiance" with her dogs one night, she admitted to letting them lick her. I want to come out and have her bring her male dogs over to let them shag me, I don't know how to tell her. I'm almost ok with it, I think she would accept it. She might even be overjoyed by it, I don't know, I don't know how to ask her. Anybody have any sugestions? sorry for my bad spelling. :sorry:

Forgot to add, I'm willing to give up my realationship whith her if she isn't accepting. I can deal with that, would just have to be alone for a while, I should be alone now, she is more then accepting of my addiction problems. Last night she went to an aa meeting with me, afterwards we went to another members house, then I gave her a ride back to her car, She went down on me like I nerver thought anyone could, then she had her way with me. not my way with her, she's some kind of sucubus. Is it wrong of me to want her to like me like this, bring her dogs over, or would it be wrong of me to hide it, I,m so confused. Please help

Eh... sounds like you have a lot going on right now, same with her. Her being married with kids is kinda awkward, however, if she is unhappy then I guess that is how she feels. I do think in this case telling her your zoo interests would probably be good.... partially because if you do not and she ends up leaving her husband and then finds out later... if she doesn't accept it, what is she and her kids to do? You have already touched the topic with her, and you say you are willing to give up the relationship if she doesn't accept it.

However, the whole situation seems too complex to offer good advice, perhaps someone that has been in a similiar situation can help better, but still a lot to think on. For me though, I think I would want her to know before getting to much more involved.

I think you two need to get over your addictions before considering life as a couple. She's married. Yeah she's unhappy, she's using whatever. WHy is she staying with someone because she has kids? She teaching them they should accept life even if they are unhappy, and the best way to deal with it is... how?? Having addictions?


Seriously.. You might want to reconsider the relationship first.



As for the zoo issue, you haven't a thing to lose. Tell her your into dogs. But deffinately, do it before you ruin the lives of her kids. Being tossed around one guy to another and to another.. they don't need that. Too many lives you have at stake there. Maybe tell her your into dogs.. if she is, and wants to be with you... tell her to give you a call when she's available, and goodbye until then.


Being codependant isn't good either. You should be able to get over your problems without needing someone else to be there in order to do it. It sounds like you're going to do nothing but be enablers for each other later on down the line. "But you were fine when I was cheating on my last marriage with YOU!" I wouldn't touch that.


{Good luck with the Zoo stuffs tho.}

Very good advice from you both; and a very unfortunate situation for a resolution.

The emotional impact of your story is very intense shaggy, along with the focus on the objects of your desire.

May I ask you: does it have to be this woman, those dogs?

Can you honestly say that nobody else could take their place within your affection? By honestly, I mean it in the purest sense of the word, being honest with yourself above and beyond perhaps that which you might admit to someone else.

What, in your own mind, could be a legitimate solution to this situation? Can you describe in full what this solution might entail, and the consequences for everyone involved from their point of view? Now ask yourself whether this is a fantasy or a possible reality.


Personally, and please don't imagine that I am dismissing your very real feelings in this matter, personally, I would walk away from the situation immediately, cry it all out if necessary, get off the drugs for good, and then maybe explore meeting people via this forum perhaps who do not have such a complex and legitimate series of obstacles in between your happiness together.




Phhheeewwweee, there is some heartache about this week isn't there?

Chin up shaggy, you can find a way through, you've already crossed the hardest barrier for many by asking for advice.

codependant[I]

Shagg.....you just put two and two together. I agree that you should get out of this relationship and perhaps try finding someone on this site, BUT NOT UNTIL AFTER you have taken care of and resolved your issues. Both of you have baggage, but she apparently has a lot more than you.....an unhappy marriage, kids, addiction problems, and now infidelity. You have to ask yourself if you really want someone carrying around this much stuff. I know....I know, she sucked your cock like nobody's business, but you have to look beyond that. Do you see this person as a good choice long-term. Even though she's unhappy in her marriage, she is still married until she is divorced or until either she or her husband dies. And even being unhappy in her marriage, she is engaging in infidelity with you. And who's to say that she won't do the same thing with you?.....or already is??? There are too many unanswered issues here.

You need to end this now so you can get on with your life and she can get her own act together.

yes, i think thats important. once the novelty of new sex wears off, is this woman a genuinely GOOD person with values and interests like your own? Its always nice in the beginning, and a divorce is a long and arduous process. Did you even think that IF she were to get divorced you might have to take on the role of stepdad?
:ph34r: