No never told anyone, my parents don't even like the thought that im having sex with members of the same species :whistling: and as for telling my Gf no i havn't and will not be for a while if at all, im still at uni and wouldn't want it going round campus

i'm in a reasonably long term relationship, 6 years, with a gil who i couldn;t live without. ..hence the dilema. what if i tell her and she disapears into nothingness within a week? i have a strong feeling that my brother knows, he has found various pieces of fiction and movies left carelessly lying arround, and some deliberatly to see what he would do. mostly he just asked if they were mine, and told me to be a little more careful. but he and i are extremely close, and if anything we are better friends now than ever. if i lost either my bro or my GF i would be devastated.

personally i don't think it's worth the risk...but hypothetically...what should i say? how do i even broach the subject with her?

My human mate is also a zoo, so that of course works out fine. Most of my furry/therian friends know and they all accept it and supoprt me. Two of my mundane friends have expressed displeasure, one of them even going so far as to make noises about ending the friendship. I have tried to educate this person but she refuses to be the least bit understanding or exploratory.

I haven't spoken to anyone about it, ever. I don't plan to tell my family, but I have no idea how my friends would react. They're not the kind of people who would hold it against me, but I just don't know if I could bring myself to tell them.

Ymirthefirst i think your brother would accept you no matter what, but if you ask me i would not tell him. no one needs to know but your sexual partner. stories can get blown out of perportion. try talking to your GF about it and see what happens...i would like to tell this quick story. a man in his early 20s falls in love and gets married. he has a beautiful wife and is fairly happy, but he has a hidden secret. he thinks that if he tells his wife that she will leave him. he is devoted to his wife so even thou his desire for this is so strong he keeps his thoughts hidden. 60 years goes by, he is sitting with his wife one day and finally decides to tells her about his hidden obession. after he tells her she looks at her husband with total shock on her face. a few minutes goes by with no answer, she looks up at her husband and says i have a confession to make i have been a devoted zoo for over 60 years. i wanted to tell you about it but thought you would hate me for it so i never did......i would like to finish by saying if it is important to you talk about it don,t keep it hidden. you might be surprised by the answer you get. :)

This post has been edited by dtdab on Apr 28 2005, 06:12 PM

thanks dtdab. i've not thought of it like that. i mean, even if she's not interested in zoo, maybe she has something hidden she is wants to tell me, and how could you not after you partner admits they are a zoo!

ok ok ok ok. i'm gonna try and find the words to bring up the subject with her. thanks all :D

It'd be horrible going for so long without telling and then finding out they're the same. I would hate for something like this to happen to me :mellow:

Divorced.

single, but involved in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship, and although I have jokingly brought it up (hes going to have to handle me if we end up together so I share my fetishes out right with him, he already said no whips or knives or anything to cause him pain, but I can tie him up :P ) he doesnt seem interested and probably quite against it.

Though, he did change the subject awefully quick. :huh: *wonders*

nah, too traditional, but there is always a possibility he has thought about it in the past and having a problem accepting it.......

just as I did....a few months ago.

BTW dtdab, love your new avatar! :w00t: and you dont have to rate me, I am not after votes.

This post has been edited by AlphaDhole on Apr 29 2005, 05:26 AM

Sounds like you get plenty of help!!! ;) :P

I was married for a time, and once confessed to my wife in a terrible fit of conscience. At the time, I was trying to convince myself that it was in the past (as a christian trying to overcome it), and we worked through it although it was rather uncomfortable for a while. We ended up splitting up about a year ago, and now I'wish I'd just kept my mouth shut since I finally made up my mind about what I believe and became an atheist shortly after I told her and was driven by a different set of values. I don't lie, but in that case I think it did more damage to confess than to have a secret. I'm not sure where I go from here...I'm not looking for a relationship but certainly not trying to avoid one either. I wish I had someone just to go out with and have fun, dine, go to concerts, etc but have no desire to get in a situation where I have to even consider keeping a secret of this magnitude.

i think this thread is interesting. i was told by my spouse of 15 yrs of marrage 3yrs before that of living together and two children later (18) total that he was zoo. it took a moment to catch my breath, but having lived with him so long it was ok. i love him and it makes me open to the whole idea. friends and family are sure not an option. this is a private type issus. i think most do not understand and would not want to go there with them. you know who you can talk to about this and who you can't. the board has been a place for good info for me and has further peeked my interest. there are good people here and i like that. :P

loveyababe, you're very open minded and that's a great thing. Some people would be horrified if their husband told them they loved animals in that certain way, but you weren't and that's wonderful :)

I hope you have a great time here. I'm also pretty new myself, but it's really great here :)

As a typical guy I have always protected myself from judgement of others by ensuring I kept things tightly locked up inside. Being in a relationship has opened my eyes to a few things, (like Duh!) my wife has just as many "little secrets, desires and dreams" as I would ever have. Always seemed I was the less trusting and had to take baby steps though - chickened out really, semi deluding myself by saying to myself I was "testing the waters". In the "aint hindsight wonderful" catagory she was prepared to take more of a risk on sharing here "little secrets" with me in the early days. Anyway - long story short, I raised the bestaility subject, shared imagery/movies. She was intersted and has been supportive and mutually enjoying my interests since and talked about her own early interests, after all it's damn erotic - right? I trust you are all able to find your own way to share your desires with the one you love as I have. Its tough to do, but well worth the effort.

Thats so bad!!!

See i'm not sure how i'd have felt if my (ex) husband had said something. He's an aswfully crass guy and wouldn't have said "i love to love the dog" he would have outright said something to me like "i fuck the dog if you don't like it etc etc etc". Situations and words help alot of things. Subjects can be carefully brought up and the waters tested before anything else is said. My boyfriend is supportive, my ex disguested, even by the idea. My boyfriend however is a much greater man then my ex could ever hope to be.

If my spouse or loved one came up to me and said something along the lines of "i have something i want to talk to you about" then i'd be ok, and would listen if nothing else. I know what i won't do, but just because i won't do it doesn't mean i won't support someone else.

Trust is a funny thing isn't it.