I think it's like all things that initially begin as a conflict inside, once the window is opened and you say to yourself, yes this is a part of who I am (not what I am); after that first deep breath I felt the exhale was very good for my soul.

I had been dating women who in no way had this gene and subsequently I drove myself to "cross-town meetings" with women who did...so there was no love, and no real loving experience just the visual--not proud of that-and it was very bad for my karma.

Admitting to someone I cared about that I had this gene and finding she did as well has opened up depths we did not know were there, everything is so much easier to do and talk about. K9 is a large piece of that part of our lives and really helps us enjoy the other things chilling together offers.

I guess for me it has been a struggle and a challange. I have denied my zoo side for years. And I have been very miserable. It takes maturity to just accept some things about ourselves. I still struggle with feeling like a sick pervert all the time. So I am still in a learning phase. I am terrified to be with a woman do to prior circumstances. I tried to be gay but that just wasnt for me. When I experimented with zoo in my younger days it just felt right.

Discovering zoophilia allowed me to realize that I could share even more of my
love to my female k-9's. After discovering this I also realized that I no longer
posess any sexual desire for human females.
This is a nice thing for me because a k-9 will always be there for you and I no
longer ever have to worry about the fear of rejection from a woman.

The only thing I have to fear now it getting caught. :lol:

This post has been edited by jezzabelle on Aug 31 2005, 02:01 AM

Has discovering Zoophilia made me more aware? Well, it probably has changed in some ways on how I live my life....no, not probably, it has! But first, if I had to say when I was Zoo-aware? I can not remember a time when I was not, and was probably like this quite some time before I even knew what a Zoo was. And until recently, I never knew or even heard about anyone else who was one.

Well that surely has changed when I finally found this forum. Reading all these messages here showed me that I was not alone and the only one that feels this way about the special relationship I have with my own mare. You know in one way, I like to think the love and complete trust that Muffin has given to me over the years has made me a better person for it...that might sound silly to someone on the "outside", but I really beleive this to be true and I'm sure that many members here understand exactly what I am talking about.

i agree that humans suck and i feel that i'm not apart or
want to be apart of them but untill i die i'll have to suffer
but i have been looking at them in a whole new light so i guess i
have been affected by finding my zoo ways and knowing that there
alot more people out there also helps too

I think I have always had a affinity for animals. I thinks that the true turn around can in comming online and finding out there was a term for it and others like me.

All my life I've been fund of animals.
I have a certain connection with them.
A oneness.
This awarenes was even more evident when I entered the horse world when I was 15.
I had already unexplainable deep feelings and later on (when I was 14 or so) they became sexual feelings.
I had no clue what was going on and why I had them.

Then, I did some research because I freaked my parents out as they gave me congrats and hoohaa's as I mentioned that I wasn't a virgin anymore.
Then I mentioned carefully that this "girl" wasn't human.
Ouchie!
So... there it was... a zoo noticing he wasn't alone and this world was existing out there with people who have a certain deep affection for animals.
However people... may I note here that I just became a member of this board.
I am 23 now.
This is because at that time, strangely enough, the zoo people didn't make me feel at home.
Hah... perhaps I just got in contact with the wrong ones too I guess.
Gave me a wrong picture about them.
But the essay's and research material made me much and much more aware.

Spiritualy though... it still didn't make any sense.
I never joined the zoo scene in any way, I wasn't interested, it didn't click or make me find myself there.
I was still wondering, why the heck I had those strong deep feelings for horses.
Other animals too, but mainly for horses.
And I went there, and there, talked with this person, talked to that person.
But it became clearly evident I had to go back inside myself a lot more then just this life.
Nobody and nothing could explain it for me.

So... the zoo world gave me slightly more awareness.
But what really turned my world upside down and gave me some answers, was reincarnation therapy.
And I know some zoo's must be laughing, but it truely turned out I was a horse in my previous life.
Not pretty story either...
I also had multiple sessions, with multiple persons who didn't know about me.
They all saw the same, and each one of them with their ability took me back and recovered puzzle parts of the story and what the heck happened.
It seems that a lot of horse because of the way I died, is now inside of me.
So I am human outside, and part horsey inside.

I hear alot about fur's around here.
Is there also a hybrid section as I truely am one! :lol:

There is also a lot of wolf in me!
So I also do feel fur-like!
Seems to be my Sjamanistic power animal and has been with me always!

For those interested I can translate the story of what happened in my previous life, arpox. 200 years ago, in Colorado.
(Perhaps I can start a new thread on spiritual awareness of zoo's... since animals are highly developed when it comes to awareness and spirituality... we humans are so behind with that... generally speaking that is! ^_^ )

I was a zoophile from the start, but I didn't know a term for it, and I thought I was the only one in the world, until I stumbled upon the newsgroup Alt.Sex.Bestiality in 1996 and starting posting there. For those who do not know: Despite its name, Alt.Sex.Bestiality functioned as a good source for dialogue, conversation, information and getting to know friends, just like this message board works now. Alt.Sex.Bestiality "died" in early 1997, but it certainly did a huge change for me and my life. I now knew that I wasn't alone, and I made a lot of good RL friends. I was often depressed before, and since 1996, I've mostly been happy. I didn't think I was "sick" or "wrong" before, I just thought I was alone. And finding that I am not alone, made a huge difference for me.

I am happy I just found this forum here, because I've been longing for something like this since 1997!

One question I wish to ask though. There were a few people in this thread mentioning that becoming "furry" made a greater change to them, than being a zoo. I am wondering about this, because I do not see myself as a furry, even though I can enjoy some aspects of furry roleplaying, etc. Several of my RL friends have become furries in the past couple of years, and I have actually not quite figured out why. So, some ideas on this would be more than helpful.

In what way did becoming furry make a change for you?

To me, being a zoo means you can interact with and love animals as you can people. Being a furry means that a significant part of me IS that animal. I think and act like a cat in many ways. It's how I see and process the world. I consider myself 50% panther, 25% wolf, and 25% human. Yes, I'm human in body. I'm talking about my spirit, my soul, and my mind.
Zoos and furs have a lot in common, and in both cases there are the ones that are serious and the ones that aren't. We all know that some people are zoos just cause it's kinky and fun, and the same is for furries. It's the folks like you guys that make the serious posts, that make people feel included. It was a group of zoos that helped me understand who I am, as a zoo and as a fur. So thank you everyone for being able to take such serious topics.... seriously.
If anyone has any questions for me about being a fur, feel free to ask me.

Ahh, okay. :) Thanks.

I guess it is all down to each individual definition and interpretation of the word, just like it often tends to be. It's funny, I've never considered myself to be 'furry' by my own definition, and I still don't. I used to be a therioanthrope, though, which is another of those words that mean that you are an animal in human form. Between the 1980's and up until 1996, I was totally convinced that I a wolf in spirit, and I guess I was, and maybe still is. I used to be on Alt.Horror.WereWolves, which was a newsgroup for therioanthropes of all kinds. Between 1996 and 2000, I gradually had a very smooth transition, in which I felt an inner wolf, and an inner bovine inside myself. Since 2000, I have felt very much like a bovine, and I feel such happiness and kinship when I am in the company of cows. I cannot feel a wolf inside me at all.

I really don't know what to make of these feelings though, anymore. There are a number of possibilities. I know I have wanted to be a non-human animal, so maybe that is the reason. That I have wanted so strongly to be something else, so I have imagined that I really am. Or it could also be that I do consist of several spiritual animals, and that I just had a slow shift from one of my main spirit-animals, to the other.

I must admit I don't think very much about this anymore. I just... enjoy the happiness I feel when I am among cows, without analyzing the emotions.

But I know my personality is much like them. :) We're compatible in spirit and personality.


Still, I don't feel like I am 'furry'. My zoo friends who have become furries in later years, often invite over other furries, and they always end up having sex and such. I must admit I just don't feel comfortable with this. I am not judging them, but I just personally don't feel comfortable with people who just go visit anyone to have sex.

I guess it's because I am more the romantic type of person, who won't have intercourse without a long-term relationship, and probably also because the concept of humans having sex with each other is scary to me, to start with.

To each their own, I guess. :)

Thanks, Queldonus, for your well-written post. :)

I think being zoo has changed the course of my life. Discovering the thoughts and morality of other zoos and beasties has dramatically changed the way I think. For me, not only is it good to be zoo, but it's good that other people are zoo.

This has been a fun read, though I've only skimmed it and not read every line of it.

I've been zoo-active as opportunity permitted since the age of 8 or so. I "discovered zoophilia" in the sense of discovering the online zoo community in '96. I am one of the many people who thought they were "the only one to do that" until they learned otherwise. *waves to all*

These days I have very little to work with. In the past I've enjoyed many flings with many dogs, and many longer-term relationships among some local herds.

Sign of the times, that area is a BIOSECURE AREA now.

Becoming a zoo has made me more aware of the reason why I dislike having relationships with people, not that I ever got the chance too though; every attempt ends with failure so I just gave up trying to find someone to share my emotions with. All I wanted is for someone to love me back as much as I love them and I figured that would never happen with another human. I love and respect the wolf and k9 species more than I do my own. I love nearly all animals, it's just that I only feel comfortable loving the k9 in "that" way. I also discovered I wish to be less human/more animal in appearance.

Glad you've made it this far then.
I personally still struggle with it everyday.
And that's not persee society doesn't agree with it.
It's just hard to accept.
Don't know why.
Wish I just could feel whole of who and what I am.
But the Horse in me is continuesly in battle with me (and my human self).
Sometimes, when I have a dip about it, I really and honestly see it as a curse.
A big...
Curse.
:(

But it's not a curse, it's a wonderful thing to have the understanding of ourselves that we do and be able to talk abou t it. If the general populace understood what zoophilia really is, they wouldn't care if people were zoos or not. Right now all they see is what the fanatics scream at them.
Never let other people's intolerance make you feel like there's something wrong with you. If any of you ever want a shoulder to lean on, or cry on, feel free to drop me a message.