Greetings,

You see a profile you like, in fact it turns you on, so you write a brief note to see if they're still around. Something a little more descriptive than "I like your profile can we chat?".

Miracle of miracles, they respond! You offered some information about your interests and experience so they respond in kind. From here you have a couple of choices. The best choice would be to respond with comments on what they shared with you and similar experiences you've had.

The WRONG response is "Wow, that was a great story. Tell me more". WTF? C'mon people, get a grip. Why would someone continue sharing either personal experiences or fictional accounts when all they are doing is supplying jerk off material with nothing in return?

Please think about it. :thinking:

Great to be here

MM

Yeah...sadly, I'd imagine that happens more times than not. And is the leading cause of the other result to a friendly inquiry or message of greeting: no reply at all.

Thanks for your comment, MongoloidManiac.

Another reason for 'no reply' could be that someone doesn't get the opportunity to log in very often. I had given up on BF for a long time but I'm glad to be back.

if one doesnt make expectations then one isnt disappointed....




moved to feedback section

Why not let people get to know you in open forum before spamming PM boxes..

Heck you might even try the chat room... A great way to get to know people and people to get to know you..

Hope to see more of ya,
deer

Thanks for your response Deer, but I'm a little confused.

When you say "you" do you mean me or the people I'm talking about in my message. I realize now that it might not have been as clear as it should have been. I'm not spamming PM boxes. The post was inspired by a combination of spams on petsex and yahoo chat requests from people who found my profile here and some from FetLife.

Southie says if one doesn't have expectations, one doesn't get disappointed. I'm not sure if he means me or those I am aiming my post at.

Is it wrong of me to get frustrated over posts that demand details of my experiences without offering any of their own? Or if I do share something and all I get is 'that's hot, tell me more' do people really believe I should be more forthcoming?

I appreciate the feedback on this topic.

MM

Yes the "you" was ment in general and not ment for any one person..

No I didn't know what inspired your topic but since it was posted here I assumed it was ment for forum members..

He's averaging 2 posts a year.

Don't strain yourself now. :lol:

"He" is "she". And I tend to be a private person. Do you have a problem with that?

MM

There's definitely nothing wrong with being a slow poster. On several occasions I've started a reply, then try to make my message cleaner, smarter sounding or funnier, and after a bit of thinking and second guessing myself, I'd just scrap the whole and post nothing.

But I'm trying to break out of my thick protective shell and reach out more and it's great to have found a place where so many others have similar interests. I think I'm on my 15th post now after about a week. It's easy enough to browse to the general forum and make a quick one-word post in the Alphabet game threads, or make an entry into one of the polls and post a short comment. Just a couple times a day, and you're well on your way to 100.

LOL, I really don't even know what 100 posts will get me, but I assume I'd be able to rate others and I hope there will be cake.

starmaster don't have a problem with you being a private person and neither do I or anyone else here...

What I do have a problem with is your attitude. Where's your sense of humor?

deer

*digs around, hunting for something*

Deer,

Damn, I've gone and misplaced my sense of humour AGAIN. Silly me. I should just clip to my butt plug. Then I'd NEVER lose it. :lol:

My apologies if I seemed defensive. It was actually a sincere question. I think it's a negative thing if people come here and plow through everything on the site w/out ever saying anything or reaching out to others, on the other hand, I use the site sparingly and have written to people privately.

I also believe that contributing 100 "me too" type posts is worth less than something that comes from my heart. I have several pieces of fiction I've written that I'm considering posting, but my shyness is making it a difficult choice.

Cheers,
MM

I will admit that I also started slow.

Personally, I didn't come for the dating either. I was a lurker long before I joined.

But by looking at the site and seeing the general idea behind it, and also by looking at other people's threads, I learned and confirmed this wasn't quite the place to go for internet dating or beast dating.

There's one section way at the bottom, but its placement on the main page told me that it was an afterthought.

All good and well for me since I didn't have an interest to begin with.

I'm also a very shy person, and also make long posts often (other than Swap areas) and I do find that the more you post and the more you talk to others, the more you realize it's just a community for people with similar interests.

just for the record I clarified my post via PM with the original poster

my post was intended as a subtle way of saying "your a female and your being hounded by men - why are you surprised?"

we take the security and comfort of our female members here VERY SERIOUSLY - but as far as I can make from the post history here your not objecting to unwanted attention but just want to control it - thats not something we can help you with - if your not interested in unwanted advances make it clear in your profile and report any abuses - otherwise we are not going to step in because men arent doing what you want them to do - BUT if you figure out a way to make that happen - by all means get back to me immediately! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Well MilkMade at least you are taking an active part in the forum.. Who knows, that 100 post may come sooner than you thought.. :)

I agree with Southie, If you have a problem with a member we are as close as our PM button..

Relax and have fun, There are a lot of really nice people here, Men and Women alike..

deer