A very interesting discussion and some excellent comments by the usual suspects ...... particularly energydog and DoW ;).

I wouldn't rule out anyone I met in the normal course of life shall we say ..... as in not on BF but then there's the whole minefield of how and when you bring it up. Personally I'd be very slow to tell anyone outside of this forum ..... once it's out there it's out there and you can't take it back. What I have done a few times is throw out a few feelers to see how someone would react. For example, I saw this documentary on tv ...... read an article in the paper ..... had the weirdest dream ... that type of thing. That way you lob it out there for discussion and can at least gauge an initial reaction but without admitting anything. When I got my dog I passed a comment to my (now ex) boyfriend that he kept following me to the toilet and trying to lick me when I pulled my jeans down ..... my ex was completely horrified so that was the end of any more discussion on that subject!

As for dating within "our" circle ...... can't say I haven't found that any easier to be honest. Finding someone you like ..... get on with etc can be tough enough too. I used to get a lot of PMs from guys that were more interested in getting done by my dog than me ..... from couples who wanted my dog to do the wife .... *sighs* ... even though I had on my profile at the time my dog wasn't a party dip and wouldn't be shared! Lol. Then I met someone I really liked and he was more interested in his bitch than me at the end of it all ...... :(

I look through the personals but they're not for me although I suppose they do work for some.

If I do get a PM I check the person's profile and posting history to get an idea of what they're like ..... if they have neither ..... not interested.

I talk to some great people here, pity a few of them aren't closer to me. Mostly these conversations started from things like getting to know each other from posting in different sections ....... PMs relating to some of the things we've posted .... that kind of thing.

I think really if you just participate and not worry too much about finding that special someone sometimes they just happen to turn up and if not ...... well I'll survive!

Good luck and I hope SOME of that might have made a modicum of sense :lol:. Least you know there's a few others of us in that boat with ya!

This post has been edited by curious1looking on Feb 4 2009, 08:15 PM

Yes, dating games seem to vary, and one often gets responses that are not what we look for.
I see many on here that are males looking for females to watch making it with dog or whatever.
Others are actually looking for human to human contact, rather than human to animal.
One will get assorted PM's, though many that I get now are either looking for pictures, though some are complementing me on the pictures I upload.
While I am willing to meet some people, it is always a crap shoot. I do not tend to look where I would need to travel, or for human to human contact. Hmm, in fact, I don't really look for other animals that much now. I enjoy my present animals far more than I do many humans.

Making contacts with people that are on BF, the suggestion to look further at the person you might want to meet is a good idea. Plus being careful due to the legality, which varies from one place to another. Legal, or at least no laws against it in some places, others have some restrictions, and more still make it either a misdemeanor of a felony.
That is one of the reasons I chose where I live now, but still have to conceal aspects due to nudity laws, nudity being legal as long as genitals and anus are hidden from view.

I have seen a lot of good advice here, and even offered a bit myself. But will point out that I am not a lawyer or barrister or whatever, so cannot offer total legal advice. And we do need to look at that aspect of our chosen lifestyle.

We also seem to maybe have a problem with posers on the forum
There used to be a number of email [SPAM], most now a vague memory, and some were destroyed by the posers who blew the whistle, so to speak. So wee need to be a bit on the cautious side by maybe looking closer at those who do respond to our messages.
Mind, most I see here seem to be okay people, at least the ones doing most of the posts that I tend to read.
I have kinda given up on the dating forums here, but do keep tabs on two of them.

Time to step off my soap box and return to reading more posts.

This may not be exactly your cup of tea, but I've found that some people who are into swinging, besides having tolerance for kinks, are able to take joy, rather than jealousy, in their partner's pleasure with another. These are two qualities, when genuine, that are essential in a zoo lifestyle. For the right girl, I'm sure there are some swingers who would embrace the lifestyle, and it certainly offers are larger pool of candidates for your affections.

Just a thought....

John



^_^

Caution!! There is so much danger for you if you tell the wrong person...Protect yourself at all times!! That's no help, but it may save your normal life!! Love from Nor Cal...ZG

This is a great thread. I appreciate all the advice I've found here. Good luck to everyone, and remember to be cautious.

Well, I guess my situation was very different than a lot of other peoples. I never really went on with the feelers or things like i saw something on tv or read an article. She asked if I was interested in animals or had any pets and i told her that I have a dog. It started off there, then I just told her about it. She asked questions and things went from there, I never touched on the subject after that date till she brought it up later. I know my situation will probably happen 1/1000 times, but still it did and I am very happy at how it turned out

How I would see it happen is get comfortable with someone and then ask them about their sexual fantasies or kinks. Maybe dating someone for that long till you are comfortable talking about those things, then bring it up. I know a lot of people have varying degrees of how much they accept this and I personally believe that this topic isnt something to hide or try to mask and hint at.

Just my own input from how it happened to me. Met a openminded gal. She likes porn.. So we chatted about all kinds of porn. Watched movies together . I once wrote some small clips on a cd for her with all kinds of sexual scenes. I added some beasty porn in between.. and she confronted me and said she was so horny after watching some of the scenes. I asked her to show me and well it was the beasty clips. And our lives were never the same again. 1 in a milion!.

Interesting question. It certainly does make dating a lot tougher. I am a bad example, I waited 7 years before I told my SO about it. We'd been married for 4! The whole truth didn't come out until maybe a few weeks ago. I got lucky. So I asked my wife what she thought, as a non-zoo, about this question. She said that if you are going to let someone into your life as a partner, then you need to share everything about you or else there will always be a barrier. BUT she said not to blurt it all out at once, but to handle it the way I did, gradually, over the course of a few months. So I'll explain how it happened.

Realized I needed to tell her, it was starting to really tear me and us apart. Hiding this side of me for so long. The first thing I did, was tell her I was a furry. Had to explain to her what that meant, because she had never heard of it. She found it explained a lot about me, and was actually quite fascinated by it. The next thing I did, was to tell her that I often watch videos of horses and dogs mating. Told her something about it really turns me on. She kind of thought it was funny, but again she understood how the primal aspect of it could be inticing. Two very understanding reactions, to very legal things which if they came out would not likely destroy you. Then I explained to her that I had always been closer to dogs growing up than I was to family or friends. Kind of told her the whole situation, and how I projected human emotion onto animals because I loved them more. Kind of lead into "naturally as I got older, I developed an attraction to them."

Again it isn't illegal to be attracted to animals, and you can really twist that one back to innocent if someone reacts bad. Once you've said that, if they're still OK with it, you can explain zoophilia. Something I am still explaining to my wife, and she is completely fascinated by it (although not interested at all in trying it). She said that she is impressed to see I have this deeper sexuality. One day we were just sitting here talking and she nearly burst into tears. I asked what was wrong, and this is what she said: "Zoos who love their dog have to lose their partner every 14 years or so... how horrible!" Like I said, I'm lucky she is so understanding. You just need to find someone like that, not necessarily a zoo. As you become closer, you can reveal it in layers.

That is a simply wonderful story. :) I am so glad to see that honesty worked out for you and that your wife is as understanding as she is. We can all only hope to be so lucky. ^_^

Just putting my two cents in, don’t know if it will help at all, and you have gotten some great advise here already.

I think, as we our selves get more comfortable with our own interest, it becomes a ‘natural’ part of our selves. As for my self I have always considered human/animal love to be natural, but I know so many in society don’t. In fact my bf knows nothing about my ‘interest’, and when I approached him about it, (casual like so many others, ‘hey I heard about a woman who…’ that sort of thing) he was utterly appalled by it, so I have been forced to keep it suppressed for many, many years.

It wasn’t until earlier this year during a conversation I read between the lines and figured out that the man I was talking to actually had the same interest as i.
We both danced around it quite a bit, simply because one cannot EVER be too careful about this!!!
Gradually we started to open up, one thing led to another and before we even realized it we were sharing our respective experiences.

I can’t tell you how liberating that was, and I’m not saying that to rub salt in your wound’s, I’m saying it because I want you to be extremely careful who you trust with the gift of this particular truth of your life.
Once it’s out there, once you have shared this with someone you can never take it back and it can have dire consequences for you!

I have since actually told a few more people (outside our community) with various results, one was utterly appalled, and sadly our friendship ended over it.
The others have been in the range from supportive/not into it them selves – very interested/want to know more.

So my two cents is, take your time, don’t rush into anything, and be careful whom you trust!
As for meeting someone here, I think the more time you spend here the sooner you will realize who the genuine people are, and maybe easier weed out the bad seeds that might come along.

Guthwulf, I’m so happy for you, what an amazing wife you have!!

Red.....Great question and thank you for sharing.

I feel your passion and desire to be with a fellow zoo/beastie, and hope for the metaphoric, zipless fuck of finding the right mutual consensual person.

Is it not so hard to find that one person that so completes you, who you would throw yourself in front of a train to save their life, and most of all will lay down with you and listen to your darkest, most intimate secrets, and look at you and still say, "I love you with all my heart".

If it was so easy, might we all be in a better place. I think your inquiry is so interesting, as we search for an answer for you, a suggestion, a warning; aren't we all forced in some way to search our own souls, for what we are missing in our relationship(s) as well, or why are we in the one(s) we have now?

You bring up a great point about those who have contacted you, and their desires, their motivations. In this confusing world of conflicted ethics, harsh legalities, and most of all, total disregard for the feelings of others, we find ourselves and our desires to be many times, "alone on an island".

But, I have been lucky over the course of my life. I fell in love first, and found out we both shared this passion.

I divorced and remarried a lady who will have nothing of it. This has caused me disappointment and frustration.

I have since developed an on-line relationship and a wonderful friendship with a sweet lady who shares my every desire. Yes it has been liberating, exciting, and in many ways loving.

I do yearn for the days I once had. The freedom to think out loud of my darkest passions. The opportunity to share them with someone I truly love, and to enjoy to the fullest, the union of sex between my partner and our beast.