Prays

Pays

Days

Dads

JOKE

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around,
scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.

She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.

He did as he was told and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.

She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.

'I thought I told you to call your mom!' she said.

'I did,' he said, 'And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school!' :lol:

GAME:

SAYS

This post has been edited by Alrd on Nov 20 2009, 05:11 PM

:lol: That's a funny one Alrd.

It Slays

:lol: Thank you, Equine, glad you enjoyed it *bows*

PLAYS

CLAY


Actual writings on hospital charts by Doctors:

1. She has no rigors or shaking chills , but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert butforgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.


This post has been edited by Alrd on Nov 30 2009, 07:01 AM

A man is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the man moves closer to the boy's position.

He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to the childs level, the man smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"

The boy replies, "Now we run!"

:lol: Good one Alrd

:thinking:

^_^

Here's one

After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the best beer in the world, give me ‘The King Of Beers’, a Budweiser.” The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, “I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors.” He gets it.

The guy from Molson sits down and says,

“Give me a Coke.” The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, “Why aren’t you drinking a Molson’s?”

The Molson president replies, “Well, I figured if you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither would I.”

:D That was hilarious, Equine *hugs* I love jokes!!

Well, I have a joke. I just made it up so I doubt anyone's heard it before. Here goes.

A boy was walking around his hometown, and he noticed a red flamingo. He thought it was odd, so he went to investigate. Approaching the bird, he asked it "Hey there flamingo, why are you red?" In response, the flamingo simply flashed a set of fangs. The boy understood, and moved on.

Next, he found a cat pacing back and forth. Approaching it, the boy asked "Hey there cat, why are you pacing?" In response, the cat told the boy "My wife's having problems with a delivery." Believing he understood, the boy said to the cat "Gotcha. Postage can be a bitch, huh?" He moved on, leaving the cat somewhat confused.

Finally, the boy came across a dachshund looking at its reflection in a lake it was standing by. Approaching it, the boy asked "Hey there dachshund, why are you looking at your reflection?" In response, the dachshund said "I'm trying to see what others seem to see in me." Intrigued, the boy asked the dachshund "Oh?" To this, the dachshund replied "Yeah, almost every new face I see calls me a hot dog. Can you tell me what they see?" The boy somewhat nervously replied "Yeah, but perhaps it'd be better if I didn't."

:D I liked that, you do really well at making up jokes!! That was a good one, thank you for sharing, Dragonshogun, keep them coming :lol:

Answering the phone, the priest was surprised to hear the caller introduce herself as an IRS auditor.
“But we do not pay taxes,” the priest said. “It isn’t you, Father, it’s one of your parishioner, Sean McCullough. He indicates on his tax return that he gave a donation of
$15,000 to the church last year. Is this, in fact, the truth?”
The priest smiled broadly. “The check hasn’t arrived yet, but I’m sure I’ll have it when I remind dear Sean.”

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for 'suck here'.

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.'

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Good year.

Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house and car with them.

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...

Q: WHAT IS A MAN'S ULTIMATE EMBARASSMENT?
A : Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.