I hope this is the right section for this since it is concerning zoophilia/bestiality. I am a 20 year old male and live with my 20 year g/f. We have been seeing each other for 6 years now and she has known about my animal life for most the time. The problem with her is she is very intermittent about loving animals in this way. She says she accepts me no matter what but she confuses me on everything past that. She started out being disgusted by the fact, then accepting, then wanting it for herself. Now she tells me it isn't her thing. Now this really starts to bother someone when it comes to something this important. I've sat down and talked with her before and I always get a different answer depending upon how she feels at the time about it.

That's the first part. The second part is even harder...this double life. I care for my g/f yes....but sometimes I worry that not as much as I feel towards animals. It scares me because if her and I didn't work out I could see me being just fine with getting another dog or something. I wish there was a way I could express to her how these feelings have been escalating lately, and not in a hormonal(I want sex) fashion but in an emotional(I need a dog partner) fashion. I love her but I can't stop thinking about this side of me, I can't deny it. There is nobody I can talk to about it too since it's so shamed. I feel as if the g/f only agrees with it because she cares about me not really because she understands it. It's almost as if there are two lives...the life that I'm currently living with her and the life that I want to be living. She's even gone to the extent to thinking I'm homosexual and this is all somehow a cover up. I am definitely not gay but can't help to not understand why I prefer male dogs and not male people...if I don't get it then she definitely doesn't.

I just need some advice from people who have been there. I love her with all my heart but this is seriously tearing me up inside. Please post up.




This post has been edited by doggycurious69 on Feb 3 2008, 06:35 PM

:welcome:

Always good to see a new member. I wonder if this post might not be a better fit in the zoo section, though?

I'm sure there are plenty of members in a similar situation who will be willing to give you some advice. Good luck!

:welcome:

I just wanted to say Hello

I'm sure there are people with smiler experience good luck with it
but I think this is a topic for zoo


This post has been edited by White Fang on Feb 3 2008, 07:40 PM

:welcome:

there are similiar situations that have evolved here on the forum - i suggest that you take a read through some of the threads in the zoo section... where i will move this thread so that others will find it ;)

Welcome to this world, You have asked us for advice on a subject that only you and your G/F can answer and deal with. I think that at some time or other we have all had to make a life changing decision.
Just reading what you wrote about her and her reaction to your love life.
At first she was repulsive by it, then she tried it for a while and now she is against it.
I think she may have looked at you and not your double life, but now she is thinking about what others could think of her, if your alternative life style was to become public knowledge.

She has always been conscious of the fact....in regards to other people. Her parents know, well they found out by reading some old emails of hers where we discussed it. Now, with them being devout catholic I'm looked down upon by her family which I think, in return, gives her doubts from the get go. Our sexual life seems to have hit rock bottom and I think, in some way, this has something to do with it...but how to you talk to someone about that. I guess I'm afraid of the rejection that I've had to deal with all these years.

That was very careless to leave incriminating emails for others to find which begs the question, what were her parents doing snooping into her private emails ? Maybe they had reason to doubt you from the start ? Being offside with her parents may be the thing that kills the relationship. This of course will depend, at least in part, how she gets along with her parents. If she is still strongly influenced by them then it may already be over. At some stage in the near future, hard as it mat be, you may have to ask her outright to say whether or not she wants to continue the relationship. By the sound of it, she has at least given it a try and so far, she is still around. Maybe a long discussion is called for where you both lay bare your souls ? It is probably no use expecting her to favour you over her parents. Time to bite the bullet and have that talk and accept the outcome, whatever it may be. Good luck.

She is definitely not influenced by her parents...she moved 200 miles away to live with me against their liking. When we first started dating years and years ago I came out to her saying I've been doing it since I was around 10. Her parents did the snooping a while later and found out(still not sure how it happened since she hasn't lived with them for the longest time). When I first told her probably 5 years ago she was accepting. Then she went through some sort of disgusted faze(prompted by her parents). She moved in and we got a lab. All she could talk about is when he grows up it will be the best...etc. Some events came up and we had to get rid of the puppy. Soon after that she lost all interest in the subject.

Hi doggy ..... *smiles and waves*

A toughie! I can certainly see why you would be confused when she appears to have her changed her mind completely. Is it possible she's just going through a phase of denial / guilt about her feelings etc..... some do. You can be sure she's still getting a hard time for her parents too about you and that could also be confusing her about you and the whole dog thing. You'd be surprised how constant little comments and jibes can wear you down and make you doubt your own judgement.

I think the only way forward is to sit down and have this conversation with her. That you're confused as to why she's changed her mind ..... you still love her and want to be with her but this is an important part of your life too and how does she feel about you continuing with that if she does not want to participate anymore.

These are all questions only she can answer and then you will have to decide where to go from there.

I hope this helps a little.

Good luck !

Living the double life, between being a zoo and being just like everyone else, is so very difficult. In many ways you've already won half the battle, because your partner does know about your feelings. I'm not going to say you should do one thing or the other, I will just offer my opinion, based on how I live my life.

I've been where you are at and in some ways I am still there. The thing with me, that is different from you, is I accept all possible outcomes no matter which way they may go. I can live without human contact, without a human partner in my life, but I cannot live without my animal contact and/or partner in my life. Does that mean animals are better than humans? No it does not, it just means that I know where my heart lies and what all I can be without and still live a happy and content life.

If I was in your situation, I would have a very intense, straight forward and fully honest conversation with my partner. I would hold nothing back. She already knows about you, but i have a feeling.......I could be wrong.......she doesn't know how strong your feelings are for animals. Everyone handles their relationships differently and there is no one right answer, because we all walk a different path. I for one, will not have anything else less then full and complete honesty. If I can't lay it all on the table, be exactly who I am, without any hesistation..........then I am not in a relationship that is healthy and just for my partner or myself.

What you need to remember is, to be true to yourself. Be true to the person you are both within yourself and on the outside. Respect your passions, needs and loves, then step back and respect your partner's passions, needs and loves.

I wish you well and I wish you happiness.

This post has been edited by Ferocity on Feb 4 2008, 07:27 AM

old saying...

To thine own self be true.


Follow your heart, and you may get hurt, but you'll always be comforted in knowing that you did what was right for you.


Liambackdoor

Welcome

Unfortunately sooner or later you will have to talk to her, or all that will happen is the two of you will fall further and further apart. Things might go well they might not, but you need to make the choice of which is more important to you. Whatever choice you make you need to stick strong by it. Goodluck

All the best

Black Lab

Well furst let it be said that I am hardly a success with human relationships. That being the case, I'll give you my take on this situation. To begin, stop feeling ashamed that you may feel a stronger bond with animals than with her. We are zoophiles after all, which means we have the ability to form strong emotional bonds with animals like we would with any other humans. Your g/f sounds a bit flighty or equivocating by nature. Hence, the constant flip flopping with her attitudes to animal sex. This is not your fault, in fact I dare say you have no control over that at all. It simply her nature, cut and dry, and nothing you do can really change that fact. It also sounds like you are a person who enjoys stability and regularity by nature, so I am not surprised to that her indecisiveness about this large aspect of your personality and relationship with her is giving you trouble. Ultimately though, I think you need to come to grips with the fact that not all, in fact very few love relationships last forever. It is not a recrimination, but merely a fact of life. It maybe simply that your relationship with her is coming to its conclusion, nothing more nothing less. If that is the case my advice is to keep it as amicable as possible. Wish I could help you more.

Thank you for everybody's reply. I tried to have "the talk" with her last night but without much success. She prompted everything by wondering why our sex life has gone in the drain...so I actually was drawing up the courage to say how I feel when she said "Oh let me guess, you like dogs more than me" and she started laughing and rolled over and started to go to sleep. For some reason it hurt me when she said that, like she finds it a joke or something. I don't know how much more of this I can take!!

If I were you (and I'm knot) I would bring it up when you and she are wide awake and sitting in your living room without the benefits of alchohol or any other mood inducing substance. I say this, as you want to be thinking very clearly and speaking consisely when you broach the subject.

You need to preface it by teling her that you truly love her and want her to share in all aspects of your life and this includes the knowledge that you are a zoo. You can tell her that she does not need to participate, however this is a side of you that exists and is a part of your sexuality and your make up. It's ingrained to the very depths of your being. You also need to inform her that this is not going away and if she loves you, she needs to love you unconditionally, as you do her.

This will inspire one of two scenarios: The first is that she will realize that this is not a phase that you are going through and she has to be more accepting. (This may take her a bit of time) The second is that she will feel that she can not compete, even though there is no real competition and she may want to part ways.

I know the latter is hard to hear. However, is it better for you to live without being able to freely and openly express yourself to your human partner and additionally lose the intimate companionship of your animal partners, or is it better to part ways, even if its a trial seperation and find your way?

All we can do is hope that you garner the strength and courage to have the talk and that it turns out very well for you. Best of luck!