"On a plus side though, she said I just need to get myself a good dog(companion) and fulfill the relationship that I need...mentally and physically. That's definitely what I wanted to hear."

This sounds to me like a justification for her to have a casual relationship with the 'girl at work'. Since she said that you need to get a good dog. That leaves the impression you do not have one now, thus, your discussions with her are from the past and fantasy in the present. Since she is hot and cold on the subject she may at least at times see this relationship as one sided at best a dead end at worse.

You want her to accept your dual sexuality: women/m.dogs, but you are unable to accept her dual sexuality men/women. If you cannot get over this hurdle; I wonder how you can realistically be optimistic about this relationship maturing.

Her parents 200 miles away know? She had to have told them. If it was from old emails then they would have to have been forwarded. I expect the girl at work also knows or will, and only you can imagine who else will eventually.

Good luck,
Beverly
[COLOR=blue][COLOR=red]

:thinking:
Doggy:

Okay, I have a lot of experience with relationships gone awry. I have been married for 19 years, I am 44, I have been in a lot of relationships Good and Bad- and I have a little knowledge. (Of course my advice is likely as bad as the next persons.)

With that being said, one thing I have figured out in life is that most of the time that I have had a problem, I also knew the right answer. I just refused to acknowledge it.

A few truths:
- when it is over you usually know it. You can make it work, but that is usually an unhappy prediciment to be in long term since there are better matches out there. If it is not right, don't give in to inertia, make the break.

-ALL relationships go through times when the spouse/GF (whatever) and you fall out of love for a while. It took me 15 years to understand that point. It is hard to accept that your mate won't always be attracted to you (all the time). It may come back and it may not. What makes relationships work is that *both* people find a deeper meaning in the relationship which transcends the physical relationship.

(that is why old married folks still find each other desirable... it isn't physical, that's for sure)

-If you go outside the relationship, it is doomed. Hang it up. I've been there on both sides. It is toast. Over Finito. There has to be more depth to the relationship.


The beauty of your Zoo relationship is that both of you can share it. If that cannot be done, you should not have involved her in it from the get go. It may not limit you but it sure is limiting her. (And don't think dissent from her parents is ever passive or that the social pressure of you're being a Zoo doesn't affect her.

My wife would never accept it. So, it lives in my fantasies. That being said, we have been through a lot and she is my best friend. Could I confide this to her and have her not leave, probably. Would she be able to enjoy this.... never. So I keep her out of it. No problem. No betrayel. I guess that is key.

You need to find a place in your heart and life where you can either be at peace with your mate not knowing or find one you are sure can share your love for animals. Trying to stay with a mate who is neither is a recipe for unhappiness - especially whenn the betrayel of your relationship is already beginning...

It is clear from my standpoint what the answer is. Don't be afraid of lonliness, loss, or the unknown. In my experience, I don't remember the empty times in my life. I remember the people and friends (furry and not) around me.


(Just a thought, have you thought about meeting a nice Zoo girl. You have the right forum. I have to believe there are a lot of women who would love to find a guy who understood them the way you wish your girl understood you.)

Thank you for the replies. Lately I've been really getting worried about where the relationship is in fact going. There is one major problem though, we live together. Her Mom kicker her out a few years ago, her dad kicked her out a few months ago, and now I may have to do the same. The thing is, she has nowhere to go. She is at a decent paying job for someone our age(10-12 per hour) but I doubt anywhere close to enough to live on her own.

I agree though about being able to share my zoolife with her but her not being able to share her bisexual side with me. I worry that we are, or at least she is, searching for something to fulfill her like dogs fulfill me.

There are plenty more problems within the relationship that are bringing things to a close than just the sexuality part. I really don't feel the need to bring those things out of the bag so I'll let them go. Sometimes I wonder if this was all a mistake; her moving in...etc. etc. I'm a college student trying to make a life for myself and this really is not the time for dealing with extreme relationship issues. Things were much simpler when we did not live together.

'Hope it all worked out for you Doggy. Everything end fine?