just keep it a secret and try to life with it

Suppressing something like this is only heading for disaster.

Hey there doggycurious69,

first of all, thanks for your honest words. Now to your problem - I guess she laughed because it is simply very hard to take zoophilia as serious as it should be taken. I don't think she tried to make fun of you - it's far more likely that her reaction was a sign of acute embarassment. Understandable, as most people have never really thought about this topic, and cannot imagine that it deserves sincereness.

My advice to give her some more time to consider everything, but to make it clear that this is important to you. In my opinion, her reaction shows that she needs this time. After all, this is not the easiest topic to talk about. When she is ready, you may want to point out that there is no need to be jealous, as your love for her and the dog don't exclude each other. She has to know that she'll always be important, and that you'll always have time for her.

So, try to be patient. I do hope everything will turn out for the best - for everyone.

All the best,


Amber Eyes

First I want to say you have done what I have never done in my fifty plus years of being a K9 bitch. First thing you must surely know is that if the two of you split, every one you and her know, will know about you being Zoo. As for an answer, that my friend only you can find. The people here at BF will help you in every way they can but it all comes down to you and her. Just keep in mind that ( HELL HAS NO FURY LIKE THAT OF A WOMAN SCORN.) I truely wish you the best and you a long and happy life. Hugs & Kisses, Pggirl :heart: :heart: :kiss:

If all the other advise does not work in your situation, you could try telling her that this is more of a hobby that you can't easily give up. It's a major part of your person, so it's more of a personal trait that she should accept if both of you truely love each other. Allow her to have a hobby or whatever that you disagree with so that both of you have a small part of a personal life. Than put them aside and only focus on each other for the most part, and later, go off and you and her can have some "alone time" every once and awhile.

I'm have not had this problem, so, whatever sounds right to you just go and do it.
Good luck to both of you!

Funny how you talk about "letting her have her thing" because she in some way does. She is or sometimes says(once again her mind changes a lot) bisexual. She has had a few experiences when we weren't dating and anytime she looks at porn it's lesbian porn. I haven't been able to arrive at the point of letting her go off and do things with girls(sexually that is). I know it may sound hypocritical but I honestly don't think it is. To me a person is different than an animal. A person has mental recourse and possibly diseases too. I'm trying to find the right time to talk to her about everything.

Ahh the change in avatar threw me although I have been keeping up with this thread.

There is no right time as such but in so saying .... if I remember correctly from earlier today, in bed is most certainly NOT the place.

I've read all the answers to this ..... and the conflicting opinions ... which while giving you a broad spectrum of answers doesn't help in some respects.

I think of all the answers I've read so far wolfhound's gave you some of the best advice.

My final comment really is we don't have the answers though I hope the range of replies has helped. We're not you, we're not in your situation and we don't know your girlfriend.

If I may suggest one thing ...... BEFORE you have this conversation with her you need to be very clear on how important this is to you. If she won't accept it are you prepared to end it ? What is the outcome you would like ? Lying to yourself and her will make neither of you happy in the long term and suggesting you ignore it / suppress it will only result in you blaming her for that at some stage and your relationship going pear shaped anyway.

So ....... you need to be very clear how important this is to you before you have this talk ..... and do it soon ...... it appears you need to.

Good luck and I hope all it works out as you wish ...... ^_^

Well we finally talked yesterday...for quiet a while actually. I explained to her all the feelings that I've been having for the past couple weeks...that it's more of a needing a companion type feeling rather than sexual desire. She understood everything and said she supported me. She also said it sounds like I need to find someone to talk to regularly about all of this(like a therapist) but I don't think that would work out too well.

Now the other thing she brought up during this conversation was about a girl at her work. She said "...on the same token, I have this girl at work who is gay that I'm attracted to. How would you feel if something came of it?" Well that's a tough one to answer...I told her that there were only two things that concerned me...and that was from an std aspect and from an emotional aspect. Meaning A)she could have hiv and B) she has to work with this girl and you are taking things to a whole new level than before(mentally).

On a plus side though, she said I just need to get myself a good dog(companion) and fulfill the relationship that I need...mentally and physically. That's definitely what I wanted to hear.

Glad to hear that things are look better!
But you should still be careful on the subject for now because she can still change her thoughts.

ive read through the posts and have to say that its a tough spot your find yourself in. there is a lot of great advice around and i hope that things work out for u. i just wanted to add since reading about this "other girl" at her work.

honestly, i would be a little wary about this. while its good to each have something, she could definately use your situation to her advantage. so please be careful... u seem like a good guy and that would be very unfortunate...

Well doggycurious I have to say your last post brought an interesting twist to the tale with the revelation that your girlfriend is attracted to a girl at work that she knows is gay.

At this stage the thought crosses my mind should the two of you be together at all until you both figure out exactly what you want ?

As for the suggestion you see a therapist ...... Why? Because you like dogs ? That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Besides .... as it's illegal in most places and considered extremely sexually deviant behaviour by society on the whole, I think you should be careful about discussing this with anyone like that.

i have to agree with curious1looking on this one 100%. it seems like you guys are still trying to figure out who you are which is a very hard thing to do when u are already in a relationship, and especially for the two of u in your situation who are in very difficult and yet very different boats with your sexuality.

id take a step back and look at who you are first and think about what you want as you are the only one who can do this for yourself. she may even feel the same way because of the girl at her work.

very strange situation and difficult but hey, this stuff builds character right? lol good luck and keep us posted..

Hey DoggyCurious ^_^
I knooooooww hoooww you feeeeeeeeelll...
I've had a really similar relationship with a really good friend (woman), although we've never dated. She was always really accepting, but she seems to not take it seriously sometimes. I've talked to her a lot and made sure she knows how much it means to me and that this is not some petty fetish. I feel the utmost empathy for you about that "Let me guess you like dogs more than me" comment, that was really crappy...
Anyway, I tell lots of people that I'm both a zoophile and a furry, some don't care, some are intrigued, some joke about it with me and I don't mind a bit. It took me a long time to come to terms with myself but now I know that the only thing that really matters is that I love who I am because of who I am, and as long as I'm nice to everyone else then I really have no reason to care what anyone else thinks do I? You have nothing to be ashamed of, you are who you are, embrace it :)
Anyway, I'm a zoophile with pride, I didn't choose it and I can't change it, and I wouldn't for the entire world.

There are a lot of great points here. You should take them into consideration, but in the end you will have to make up your own mind. good luck for the future

Black Lab

I really appreciate the great advice/opinions that everyone has given. I'm not very certain of things at this point. We had that long talk that I posted of a few days ago but something came out the other night. She was upset over something irrelevant and burst out with a hurtful animal comment. At the most random point in her rambling of upsetness(nothing to do with the zoo thing) she says something to the extent of "I hate it, it's tearing apart our relationship, it's disgusting..." etc. etc. etc. Obviously, I was completely caught off-guard by these comments. I've always thought that when you are really upset or mad the truth comes out in one way or another.

Also, I'm getting worried about her and this other girl thing. She works with this girl and also hangs out with her. She told me the other day she had a chance to do physical/sexual things but she didn't(this definitely gets my mind running). It's really starting to scare me. She'll say she is going somewhere that would be a quick trip but then be gone for 2 hours. Some previous info....years ago she cheated on me with a girl...so definitely on my guard. I think of it like this...if I had a big male labrador at the house...all alone...would I not pursue something? Women piss me off so much sometimes!!!!!!! :(