When I was young I was kicked by a horse, which resulted in me going to casualty , and this seemed to have left me mentally scarred as I could not bring myself to touch this mare I have grown quite close to. Her ears were forward and tail swishing, and she had her head over the fence and was looking at me with those beautiful eyes, do you think she would bite me? was she just doing this to get another treat (carrot), or would she be fine to be stroked?

you can't blame me for being a little cautious, i haven't been inside the fence with her yet, i don't think I'm ready not to be shielded from a horse.

This belongs in the FAQs section...but I think you need to take your time getting to know her...if it's just friendship your looking for, then I wouldn't be too worried...if she's not your horse though some owners get VERY defensive if they find some in their pasture with their horse.

My thought to this is too fold
First... people with axcidents have at times taken years to overcome the trama.
So you are far from being alown in this..

Second... Horses are as you found out very strong and react instantly if they preseeve a thret.

Horses also know there people, there people are there "herd" so walking up to one over the fence food in hand is not necessarly a good idea eather. Also your finger could become the next carrott..

You if you realy want to continue with some safty need to get to know horses a lot better. This means learning to ride as a start..
Get lessons
Before you think about playing with the back of any animal learn to talk to the frount..

As a note
I have lived with breeding horses all my life. Stallions and mares.. I love my horses as family. I can lay with my stallions in a field safely..
They are trained to avoide strangers for every ones safty. I am not active with my horses simply because they are not comfortable with it. I collect them breed them but they never come to me looking for sex. They do not distinguish between who to play with who not to..
Horse sex is very fast people sex is not usually.
In all my years I sleep with my dogs
They are a lot safer and they spend a long time at sex..

Rus

thanks for all the advice guys, more is still appreciated, as I am damn sure I don't want my finger to become the next "carrot". If I want to avoid being bitten, but want contact, which is the best place for first contact, I am still talking about the front end here, not confident enough for the back end yet?

Rub or scratch sholders, brush the horse.
Brushing is quality time to a horse.
A herd member will scratch its friend and the friend will scratch back..

If you realy want to get into horses there are no short cuts.
Be willing to watch the groop in there field and fallow how they interact..
Watch the set of there ears and head carrage as well as how the tail is caried. All this is body language to a horse. When you see how they react you can then relate it to your self..
Riding lessons is a start but you will learn more through the years.
Some stables will swap lessons for stall cleaning etc..

I started handling horses for a small breeding farm. They were my best years and once hooked I never looked back.

Horses and dogs are totaly different in there there thinking.
Also horses are extreemly strong, they react instantly and may just run through you if scared. profesionals are hurt every year so go not get yourself overfaced.

Remember horses learn to speek from interacting in a herd.

Shurch my posts
but remember
I sleep with my dogs.

Rus

Yeah i have absolutely no experience with horses but i do know if you get shocked or something you have to go back to doing it immediately or else you will be scared forever.. it can be fixed it just takes time.

Just to add a quick note about horses. I've noticed that when adults who are nervous and frightened by horses and are around them, the horses respond in kind and are also nervous and skittish and do not respond well at all to these people. They shy away, they lay the ears back and don't socialize with them. Your accident has left you with a fear of horses. Unfortunately this IMHO increases your chances of having yet another accident due to your lack of confidence around them. It's not fair but thats the way I see it.

which way for the ears is best, when they are turned toward you or away from you?

If they are pinned back, then that tends to be very bad. If you are in front of the horse and the ears are facing you and are attentive that is normally a good thing.

Sometimes the horse is simply relaxed and the ears will go to a relaxed position, in which they aren't "perked" nor are they pinned, just relaxed at their normal position (a good way to know the relaxed postion on a horse, since it differs from animal to animal is to look at the skin around the base of the ears. If there is no wrinkles in the skin at the base of the ear, the horse probably has them relaxed).

To me, the relaxed position is important. If your behind your horse, ahem, being intimate, and your horse is relaxed, to me it means she trusts you and is simply enjoying the experience.

The ears are just one clue as to what a horse is feeling. The tail, their head position, their general attitude are all just as important clues as to what is in your horses head. Experience is the best teacher.

I can only echo what rus and equinesharp have said. Rus is right,there are no "short cuts"with horses and you definatly sound as if you need to spend some time taking riding lessons or getting involved in a local horse group in order to gain the needed expierence. If you do so,then I would make it clear to them what happened to you in order that they can provide you with the support you need. As noted it takes some times years for some people to get over something like what you went through,but the fact you are making an effort to face it showsa lot of courage. So,"thumbs up" to you. :)

Yep. It'll take some time to get over the fear of approaching a horse after an accident. But just remember to try to stay calm. My friend told me that if you're relaxed, they're relaxed, etc. Good luck!