A Dopey Goldie :(

[WebHamster]

I've been with my partner for about a year now and have 'inherited' her 5 year old Goldie. We've both had an active interest in K9 fun for a while but never had the chance to actually indulge. My partner's ex-husband was extremely boring and had very rigid ideas about sex and as a result my partner ended up with quite a few guilt demons. Then along come I with 'don't give a shit what people think' attitude. We make each other so horny that our inhibitions are dropping by the wayside.

One problem is that we live about 100 miles away from each other so only get to spend the weekends together. So one day she's bouncing off the walls with horniness and, to put it bluntly, was desperate for anything to relieve the pressure. Into the kitchen comes her 5 year old Golden Retriever and starts to pay interest to her crotch (she habitually goes commando!). So she thought "why not" and allowed the dog to lick her.

Well that was it she was hooked. She phoned me up to tell me all about it and I have to say it was one of the horniest phone calls I've ever had.

But to cut to the chase we are now both hooked on K9 sex. There's one fly in the ointment. Her goldie is a bit on the dopey side. He is absolutely adorable and has a gorgeous nature but he isn't picking up what we are trying to tell him. And yes, before any replies inform me/us, I know it's our job to train him correctly.

At the moment he is loving licking my partner out whenever he gets the chance (most times he instigates it). My partner is really looking forward to achieving a tie. But here's the snag, ol' dopey can't get the hang of humping her. We've tried wanking him (though not to orgasm yet, come to think of it he hasn't really got the hang of the humping action yet either), enticing him with fussing and loves and treats but as soon as my partner offers her butt to him doggy style (as per the lessons at ZooSkool) he has a quick sniff, a quick lick then buggers off for a lie down.

Alternatively if we try missionary (on the edge of a low settee) he will give her a damn good licking then lose interest. He can't seem to make the connection between the licking and the chance of having sex with her. We've tried getting him hard and then me guiding him into my partner's pussy. He's quite happy to stay there with his tongue hanging out and a dozy look on his face, but there's no sign of any humping action going on :crazy:

What we've decided to do is a 2-pronged 'attack'. We're going to get a routine of daily jack offs going, as well as extra fussing and getting him used to being over her without actually having to perform (possible with passive contact between my partners pussy and his penis). He has no problem physically, he hasn't been neutered and he gets an instant erection and a rock solid knot as soon as he gets any attention to his cock (either hand or mouth. He's patient whilst my partner sucks him. He seems relaxed about it all (we go to great lengths to make sure he isn't stressed at any time).

Are we on the right track? Can anyone offer advice on the best way of teaching and old dog a new trick?

This post has been edited by WebHamster on Mar 3 2005, 04:41 AM

[zorro_1us]

Wow, interesting dilema. I'm not sure I can offer any help as yo seem to be doing all you can. You've handled him to erection - I mean the editorial 'you' here, you seemed to have sucked him, you've offered ass and pussy to him.. and you've even let him feel what his cock would feel like in a pussy. Jeez... I'm not sure what else you can do.

I have known of "goofy" dogs; loveable, fun, physically able... but GOOFY. I wish I could give some advice but it seems you got "a lemon". Good luck!